Any of you out there know what to do with a splinter that's embedded in the sole of one's foot? I'm thinking that the first thing you'd suggest is to take off the high heels I'm wearing right now and put on something sensible. Well, too bad--they look cute, so the heels are staying.
I'm also thinking that you'd have probably warned me about walking around the sidewalks of Philadelphia this weekend while barefoot, but it's too late for that. And no, I'm not going all Britney Spears on you. It's just that I didn't feel the need to wear shoes for the two-block walk to my car, as I was only going to remove them and immediately replace them with skates once I arrived at my rollerblading destination. So it's not like I was planning to go to brunch or to the supermarket sans shoes.
Blah blah blah. Long story short: I now have a foreign object embedded in my foot. Left alone, it will probably kill me. Although I'll probably spend the evening digging it out with tweezers and/or kitchen knives, I wonder if anyone else has any ideas.
Monday, May 14, 2007
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14 comments:
Cut off your foot. That'll do it.
1. don't listen to brad. he is mistaken. cutting off your foot will only cause more problems then it solves.
2. soak it in warm salt water! seems like that would help. it's what i would do. and if that's not an endorsement, then i don't know what is.
Mysteriously, the splinter/foreign object seems to be now gone from my foot. That doesn't mean that it worked its way out, of course. Instead, I strongly suspect it's pushing its way towards a major vein or artery so that it can travel up to my heart or brain or other organ of its choosing and inappropriately lodge itself there. Bad times!
And Brad, for that snarky comment, you're now out of the will. Amy gets everything now.
And here I was hoping to inherit your debt. Oh well. :)
Amy's advice sounds good.
oh lil psk, don't be silly! the chances of that splinter making its way into your bloodstream are next to nil. what's far more likely is that the splinter's still there, only its burrowed its way deep under your skin, leaving a snail's trail of dirt and infection along the way. it will sit there, festering, for weeks and weeks, until doctors eventually have to remove your foot. in which case brad's advice will be strangely prescient!
this is what you need the salt water for!
it will kill all the icky bacterium that threaten to leave you footless. might want to toss a little peroxide in there too, for good measure. you must now soak your foot every day for the rest of your life or until you can conclusively locate and remove the splinter. this means delicately searching through the tubs of room temperature salt water once you're done soaking, to make sure your foot didn't just expell the little fucker while you were soaking, along with inspecting your foot with a magnifying glass at least once daily.
i'm sorry, but this is the only solution. that'll teach you to be carefree and walk without shoes! you wacky girl, you!
try a banshee scream first. although cutting off your foot *would* allow more soaking time...but i am not sure it would give you the results i assume you want. just remember: heather mills was booted off "dancing with the stars". silly funloving bridget ;-P
(oh, and baking soda is a good disinfectant as well, should you want to change up your routine as presented in amy's care plan)
Last time my mommy took out splinters that I picked up on the boardwalk at Wildwood, she burned a tweezer and stuck it into my skin, and it hurt! So don't ask for my mommy's help.
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